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Sometimes, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles feels he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his periods of extreme self-importance often turn “detached from reality”, he states. You’re riding high and you’re like, ‘People will see that I’m better than them … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are often coming after a “sudden low”, during which he feels deeply emotional and ashamed about his behavior, leaving him highly sensitive to disapproval from those around him. He first suspected he might have NPD after investigating his behaviors through digital sources – and was later diagnosed by a professional. But, he doubts he would have taken the label unless he had already reached that realization by himself. “If you try to tell somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – especially if they experience beliefs of dominance. “They’re in a delusional world that they’ve constructed. And within that framework, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Although people have been identified with narcissism for over 100 years, definitions vary what the term implies the term. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” says an expert in narcissism, who believes the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he suggests many people hide it, because of widespread prejudice associated with the disorder. Someone with NPD will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to seek admiration through actions such as displaying material goods,” the specialist says. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Gender Differences in The Disorder

While a significant majority of people identified as having NPD are males, findings points out this figure does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that women with NPD is more often presented in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is less commonly diagnosed. “Men’s narcissism tends to be somewhat tolerated, as with everything in society,” says a young adult who discusses her dual diagnosis on social media. Frequently, the two disorders appear together.

Personal Struggles

I find it difficult with dealing with feedback and being turned down,” she shares, “because if I hear that I am at fault, I often enter self-protection or I withdraw entirely.” Despite having this reaction – which is often called “narcissistic injury”, she has been working to manage it and accept input from her support system, as she doesn’t want to slip into the negative conduct of her past. I used to be manipulative to my partners in my youth,” she states. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she says she and her current boyfriend “maintain an agreement where we’ve agreed, ‘If I say something messed up, if I say something manipulative, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her upbringing mainly in the care of her father and says she lacked supportive figures during development. I’ve had to teach myself over the years the difference between acceptable versus unacceptable to say during a fight because it wasn’t modeled for me in my formative years,” she comments. “Nothing was off-limits when my household were criticizing me during my childhood.”

Underlying Factors of NPD

These mental health issues tend to be linked to difficulties as a child. Heredity is a factor,” says a mental health specialist. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “tied to that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to manage during childhood”, he adds, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting specific standards. They then “persist in applying those identical strategies as adults”.

In common with many of the those diagnosed, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The 38-year-old explains when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve good grades and life achievements, he says, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “acceptable.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships ever worked out. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he says. “So I’ve never taken relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of experiencing genuine affection, until he met his current partner of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, like him, struggles with emotional regulation. She is “really understanding of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he notes – it was in fact, her who first suspected he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

Subsequent to a consultation to his GP, John was referred to a therapist for an diagnosis and was informed of his condition. He has been recommended for talking therapy through national services (extended treatment is the only treatment that has been proven effective NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the treatment delay for an extended period: It was indicated it is expected around early next year.”

He has shared with a handful of people about his mental health status, because “negative perceptions are widespread that all narcissists are abusers”, but, personally, he has embraced the diagnosis. The awareness assists me to gain insight into my behavior, which is positive,” he says. Each individual have acknowledged their condition and are pursuing treatment for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the diagnosis. But the presence of online advocates and the expansion of virtual networks point to {more narcissists|a growing number